Joe21
03-30-2009, 02:00 PM
Most people have yet to learn the joys of shopping. We run to the store, pick up a few items and rush back home, oblivious to all of the excitement one can experience while performing one of our most frequent tasks. A little planning and forethought can make that shopping trip an unforgettable experience. Let me offer a few suggestions and what one can expect on an excursion into the world of the mega super market.
No shopper should leave home without a written list of items they plan to purchase, plenty of money and a cell phone. Before leaving home, check the medicine cabinet for something that will calm your nerves. This will become obvious as soon as you enter the parking area. The shopping list is a must, it identifies you as a person with great organizational skills. When you return home and unpack your items, if the items your have purchased matches closely the items you have on your list, you have performed a miracle.
As we approach the super market, it seems as if every parking space on the 38.6 acre asphalt jungle is filled to capacity. Being the optimistic type we know for sure there will be a vacant space at the front door, There's one, but it's nine spaces from the front door and we are sure to do better than that. Well, what do you know? Not a space in sight, so we will rush back around and get that space we we bypassed earlier. Oops !!! Someone else got that spot. We circle around for 25 minutes consuming two gallons of gasoline and find an open space only a ten minute walk from the front door. Many stores realize some of their customers may be a bit exhauted after a long walk in the parking lot and have installed benches just inside the entrance door, serving as a rest stop. This is one of the better ideas coming from the customer relations department
After a short rest we're ready to get our shopping cart and head for Aisle No. 1. We eagerly grab one of the carts and discover there are six carts jammed together. We push and pull and even kick the cart to untangle this mess but to no avail. A ten-year old boy, seeing our problem, walks over, places one finger on the cart and presto, solves our problem. Just as we are ready to leave the shopping cart area, a customer representative approaches and asks if we would be interested in purchasing collision and liability insurance. I was beginning to wonder why we would need inurance when, out of the blue, a senior citizen in an electric shopping cart came speeding by and crashed into a fully loaded cart of a customer laving the store. Two dozen broken eggs and a half gallon of spilled milk was on the floor. I thought we were going to have a cooking demonstration on how to make an omelet. Can goods were flying everwhere. Even a pair of ladies panties came flying out of the cart and landed on the head of a bald-headed man. Here was something one can find only on YouTube, all in the course of shpping. What a joy !!!!
When the excitement died down, we gazed down the long aisles and saw people who had come to the super market apparently to get in their daily exercise. These are the same people who have parked in those spaces near the front entrance. If only they had parked in the rear of the lot and walked or jogged to the front entrance they would have more than had their exercise for the day.
Now back to those electric carts. I've never looked too close to determine if there are restrictions on the use of those carts but from my observtions, there are wo basic rules that quality a person to be able to use the electric shopping carts. No. 1 ---a person must weigh at least 300 pounds: No. 2 --- a person must never have been able to qualify for a valid driver's license. I've never been one to greet the person who opens the door for business each morning, but if I were, I believe there would be a long line of people hoping to get one of those electric carts. There appears to be a system ---- go to the store each day, buy one item to make it appear you are a legit shopper, clock as many hours as you can and, most important, scare the hell out as many shoppers as possible. If the driver has a "smirky" grin on their face, that's a sure sign they have been sucessful in the "scaring the hell out" phase.
For all of you regular customers who want to avoid being hit by one of those electric carts, my advice is this; be alert and fast on your feet. Unfortunately, I did not heed my own advice. As soon as my broken leg heals I'll continue with "The Joys of Shopping, Part II".
No shopper should leave home without a written list of items they plan to purchase, plenty of money and a cell phone. Before leaving home, check the medicine cabinet for something that will calm your nerves. This will become obvious as soon as you enter the parking area. The shopping list is a must, it identifies you as a person with great organizational skills. When you return home and unpack your items, if the items your have purchased matches closely the items you have on your list, you have performed a miracle.
As we approach the super market, it seems as if every parking space on the 38.6 acre asphalt jungle is filled to capacity. Being the optimistic type we know for sure there will be a vacant space at the front door, There's one, but it's nine spaces from the front door and we are sure to do better than that. Well, what do you know? Not a space in sight, so we will rush back around and get that space we we bypassed earlier. Oops !!! Someone else got that spot. We circle around for 25 minutes consuming two gallons of gasoline and find an open space only a ten minute walk from the front door. Many stores realize some of their customers may be a bit exhauted after a long walk in the parking lot and have installed benches just inside the entrance door, serving as a rest stop. This is one of the better ideas coming from the customer relations department
After a short rest we're ready to get our shopping cart and head for Aisle No. 1. We eagerly grab one of the carts and discover there are six carts jammed together. We push and pull and even kick the cart to untangle this mess but to no avail. A ten-year old boy, seeing our problem, walks over, places one finger on the cart and presto, solves our problem. Just as we are ready to leave the shopping cart area, a customer representative approaches and asks if we would be interested in purchasing collision and liability insurance. I was beginning to wonder why we would need inurance when, out of the blue, a senior citizen in an electric shopping cart came speeding by and crashed into a fully loaded cart of a customer laving the store. Two dozen broken eggs and a half gallon of spilled milk was on the floor. I thought we were going to have a cooking demonstration on how to make an omelet. Can goods were flying everwhere. Even a pair of ladies panties came flying out of the cart and landed on the head of a bald-headed man. Here was something one can find only on YouTube, all in the course of shpping. What a joy !!!!
When the excitement died down, we gazed down the long aisles and saw people who had come to the super market apparently to get in their daily exercise. These are the same people who have parked in those spaces near the front entrance. If only they had parked in the rear of the lot and walked or jogged to the front entrance they would have more than had their exercise for the day.
Now back to those electric carts. I've never looked too close to determine if there are restrictions on the use of those carts but from my observtions, there are wo basic rules that quality a person to be able to use the electric shopping carts. No. 1 ---a person must weigh at least 300 pounds: No. 2 --- a person must never have been able to qualify for a valid driver's license. I've never been one to greet the person who opens the door for business each morning, but if I were, I believe there would be a long line of people hoping to get one of those electric carts. There appears to be a system ---- go to the store each day, buy one item to make it appear you are a legit shopper, clock as many hours as you can and, most important, scare the hell out as many shoppers as possible. If the driver has a "smirky" grin on their face, that's a sure sign they have been sucessful in the "scaring the hell out" phase.
For all of you regular customers who want to avoid being hit by one of those electric carts, my advice is this; be alert and fast on your feet. Unfortunately, I did not heed my own advice. As soon as my broken leg heals I'll continue with "The Joys of Shopping, Part II".